It's funny how when we're children we often think of how wonderful life will be as we grow up. Indeed life is wonderful. I get to choose what I want on the menu, buy a car, attend the University of my choice, pick a career, buy that new hot pair of shoes, or purchase that candy bar in the checkout line that taunts me every time I go through the grocery store line. Don't be mislead though, along with all of the freedoms and experiences we also attain the crappy things also tag along. Things like insurance (both health and automotive), adult jobs (which I suppose could be good and bad... at the moment my lack of one presents this to be a draw back of adult life), and DRAMA. All of which are things I despise.
In lieu of these lovely decisions that are rapidly entering into my future I've been investigating jobs I could apply for. Immediately after graduation my goal is to have be hired as a counselor to the EFY program and work somewhere on the east coast for the summer. (Bliss, I know!) After the summer comes and goes I'm hoping for one of two things to happen: 1) Some awesome, fantastic jobs will fall into my lap ... I meaning that I'll have worked hard and scouted it out or 2) I'll feel comfortable enough and have a strong desire to start a teaching career. If neither of these things happens, which I'm assuming (but not hoping) will be the case... I'm not so sure what I'll do with my life.
It's funny, I never pictured this phase of my life to be this way: unmarried, happy with being single, an almost college graduate and looking for a professional job. I guess the one thing that provides me comfort is knowing that I've been promised blessings and if I live up to my end of the bargain they'll come... probably not in my time but they will come. :) Yeah for putting trust in He who's got it all worked out!!
The last month or so has been quite... eventful: Shaun got his mission call, which is still setting in; Marci got her's shortly after Shaun, which I'm ecstatic about, yet very sad to say good bye to one of my best girl friends for a year and a half, oh! Hayley (my more or less sister) also got her call. It's the month of missionary calls I guess. This has brought this odd sadness/elation all combined into one emotion. It's a little like taking table spoon of salt on a deliciously fresh peach; yucky but absolute bliss all in one bite.
On a little lighter note, I got my field assignment which will be in a first grade classroom (I'm very nervous, but also excited about it). This is also the classroom where I'll be doing my student teaching this spring... the spring prior to graduation... the graduation that makes me a responsible adult. Weird.
I've found myself struggling this semester, not academically, but more just finding that umph to get back into the swing of school. For whatever reason, this has been particularly difficult for me. (I think it's an awful disease that's been going around our cohort called, senioritis, nasty little bugger. Haha.) I'm banking on the hope that when we get into the schools I'll be more driven to really absorb all I can in class rather than dreading to attending. *Please please PLEASE!!*
Today I also started looking for "big kid jobs." What a scary thought. As I was looking into rantings of various districts in places outside of Utah it gave me the same feeling you get as you get ready for a date with a guy you're nuts about: crazy excited but also incredibly nervous and a little sick. This experience has been a little bit of a newsflash to me that my adolescent years are very much over and it's time to move onto being an adult, not just a college student, but an adult. Honestly... I'm not sure how much I like the idea of that. I guess only time will tell.
I guess what it really boils down to is up until this point in my life I never really planned for the future... well at least not like this. I always assumed my life would have taken a different path (okay, so it was marriage) however it seems as though this was a blessing. I've had a chance to explore parts of the world that I otherwise wouldn't have, I've met awesome people and made some life long friends. I've grown so much emotionally and spiritually and if nothing else I'm incredibly grateful for the series of events that brought about that growth; despite the tears and frustration, but not to forget the joy and elation that often accompanied them. My stinkin' thinkin' has lead me to believe that I'm nothing short of blessed. Despite my daily, weekly, monthly, and annually struggles I've got a warm bed to sleep in, a family who loves me and a career ahead of me that will bring me satisfaction and joy for the rest of my working career. Luck me! :)
Well, whether this all made sense to you or not doesn't really matter to me. The point of this was to unload my brain of all the things that have been causing me joy and excitement. Hopefully it was a little bit enjoyable to you, if not... well you're the one who kept reading. Until next time,
You're semi-faithful blogger,
Brittish Knees
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